Trash Baskets and Prayer

Today's church sermon struck a chord with my heart. It brought some emotions to the surface that I had pushed deep down inside hoping to never deal with again. I simply refused to deal with them because I was angry, hurt and utterly disgusted. God was working through our pastor this morning to keep my full attention on what he was trying to get through to my stubborn mind. Reminding me time was of the essence, I needed to act now or forever pay for my procrastinating ways. My heart and mind are still at odds and fighting it with every step. I'm realizing the roots of my "fig tree" have become withered. Withered from anger, sadness, disgust at what I've seen, confusion on why things happened the way they did and why I couldn't fix it. Many tears have been shed in sadness and pain. I didn't hand it over to God. I don't know why. I should have, but I didn't. I wanted to scream, to lash out at those that had hurt myself and my family. I did lash out. I screamed with all my might, but it fell on deaf ears. I'm sure it was a lesson meant for me to learn, but I failed miserably.

In the book of Mark it says:

Mark 11:20 - As the disciples passed the fig tree He had cursed, they saw that it was withered from the roots!

The fig tree is the most fruitful. Fruit grows before the leaves. When Jesus saw the fig tree with only leaves and no fruit, he cursed it to never bear fruit again. I had let this anger and pain eat away at my "roots" until they had withered. I failed at letting God take care of my worries and troubles. I failed to notice I wasn't bearing fruit for the Lord. My roots had become withered and damaged. A reason for not handing it over to the Lord may have been because I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I knew I needed to pray, forgive and take my opportunity to accept the word of God. At the time, I was still too angry; the hurt was too fresh in my mind and in my heart. The last words I wanted to hear was forgive those that trespass against you. Forgiveness? I think I remember saying, "I will NEVER forgive them for what they've done!" I meant it. My heart was cold - frigid! 

I will give you an idea of the kind of person I am. If you are my friend or family member, I will defend you to the end - tooth and nail. If you are insulted, I'm the person that will have your back and not think twice about putting said person in their place. I've been put in a position to defend my family members many times for several years. I continue to do so to this day because I'm very protective and loyal to those I love and care about. I shut down false accusations immediately even if they are coming from within my own family. There is no sense in stirring a pot that doesn't need stirred. I'm quick to anger when loved ones are attacked.

Prayer could have helped to mend my heart and ease my mind. Prayer would have taken the painful burden I was bearing. Prayer should have been the first thing I turned to when I was full of rage and anger; pain and hurt. Growing up I heard many times don't look back on your life saying "I shoulda, coulda, woulda", instead take that step of faith and do, did, done it. Don't let anger and hostility shout over the words of God in prayer. Pray for what you need. Pray for His hand to guide you to the answers you seek. You have to have faith that God will deliver. You have to believe.

Matthew 21:22 - "You can get anything - anything you ask for in prayer - if you believe."

Prayer is for whoever! You can pray for whatever! You MUST put your faith in God. Faith can move mountains. The saying moving mountains was seen as a difficult task. But you see, God can accomplish the impossible! God can move mountains for you if you have faith in Him and believe.

I pray for forgiveness of my sins and transgressions. I pray for the strength from God to do what I need to do to forgive others who have hurt me deeply. I pray for those that refused to listen to my words, those that screamed at me and insulted my family. The pain is still there, Lord, give me strength to do what I need to do. These feelings are still raw and painful for me to dig up and hand over to you. But, I'm tired of being a Mt. Grudgemore. I want to feel the freedom and happiness that comes with letting God take the reins. I've held on to this anger long enough. 

Forgiveness is a choice ~ Forgiveness is not necessarily fair ~ it's a mercy

Forgiveness is releasing someone from ever paying you back. It isn't easy to forgive because you always tend to bring up the past when tensions rise and feelings are hurt.

Matthew 6:12 - and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
14-15 - Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who sin against you; but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.

Below is from a 4 year old:

And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those that
put trash in our baskets

See, even though humorous, children make sense. We all have trash baskets. We put trash in our baskets daily. We should clean out our trash baskets daily in prayer. And when others put trash in our baskets, we should forgive them and pray for their trash baskets to be clean as well.

Don't wait until it's too late. Don't procrastinate as I have because of hesitation for whatever reason. The time to act is now.

Mark 13:7-8 - And wars will break out near and far, but this is not the signal of the end-time. For nations and kingdoms will proclaim war against each other, and there will be earthquakes in many lands, and famines. These herald only the early stages of the anguish ahead.

We are seeing these such things that Mark speaks of. All the more reason to get yourself right with God. Clean out your trash basket and forgive others who put trash in your basket.
*Have a CHAT with God

CONFESS your sins to God
HONOR God by letting Him now how much you need Him and want a right relationship with Him.
ASK God: Give Him the requests that are on your heart.
THANK God for what He has already done, is presently doing and what He is going to do for you.

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