Speaking of patience, our paster preached a very good sermon today. And what follows is what I got from it. It was one of great meaning and reflection on biblical ideals and teachings versus social ideals and teachings. Which side do you sit on? Some may be on the fence about all of it. More specifically, I'm talking about marriage and the patience to make it work. It's not as easy as some people make it look. The shows you see on the television are NOT real. You don't just fall in love and live happily ever after. That is a fairy tale. Love and marriage is real life and takes hard work from the husband and wife. Sadly, in today's society, this is why many marriages end too soon. There is no give and take, no compromising in difficult situations; just hurt feelings and short tempers. When differences arise or words are exchanged that cause hurt feelings, you can't just get mad and leave or say hurtful words that you can't take back. This is detrimental to an already fragile relationship. Especially if the couple is just newly married. Faith in God must be first in this relationship first and foremost. If there aren't three people in the marriage (i.e. God, husband, wife), then the marriage is on unstable ground from the start. Patience to allow your spouse the ability to voice their side of any conversation is important. Another good piece of advise, put yourself in the other person's shoes and see the situation from their point of view. Basically, "how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot.....". A good suggestion before getting married is to go through premarital counseling. I know many people roll their eyes at this, but it's not as dull or "stupid" as it sounds. It would definitely allow you both to open up to each other and discuss in a neutral environment any possible sensitive subjects or situations that can arise, or for each party to learn of habits good or bad the other has before they say I do. These can be made known and addressed in front of an unbiased person who can help to work through each issue.
Newly married couples are sometimes caught up in the happily ever after and expect everything to just mesh right together. But, Rome wasn't built in a day. To become one flesh takes a lifetime. There are two kinds of marriages; oil & water and mashed potatoes. The oil & water marriage doesn't compromise or empathize. They are shaken but never become a complete mixture. The mashed potatoes marriage is mashed together with love, understanding, empathy and compromise and sprinkled with a good coating of God for a complete lifetime mixture.
Here are four things Jesus gives us to think over regarding marriage:
- Leaving - your parents
- Cleaving - divine transaction
- Weaving - from 2 into 1
- Grieving - when marriage vows are broken
When a man and a woman are married they are to leave their parents and become one with their spouse. Speaking as a woman who was freshly graduated from high school when I got married, this can be a very touchy subject; especially for young women. Once you become a wife, you are to look to your husband for counsel and comfort. The same goes for the husband, who should look to their wife for support, counsel and comfort. Many forget this and continue to cling to their parents for the attention, advise and comfort the new spouse is now supposed to give. There are also parents who have a hard time letting their child go and let them learn to stand on their own two feet and lean on their new spouse for what they used to get from their parents. A new marriage must rely on each other and God's scripture to have a strong foundation in the relationship. If there is no good outcome and the marriage can't be saved for whatever reason that caused the marriage to break down, grieving over the loss of the marriage is unfortunate. But, God does not forbid all divorce. He does hate divorce, but he doesn't hate divorced people. I encourage anyone to hold on to hope if your marriage is in a mess. Miracles do and can happen!
Tonight's post was probably a touchy one for some of you, but it might also have saved a marriage or delayed one for good reason that only God knows. I hope that this touched some hearts and reached some people that needed to have someone share their mashed potatoes and take away the oil & water. May God bless you one and all!
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Thank you and have a Blessed day!
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